Audio-pile #bookillneverwrite

Hop back up with the sands of time/ it’s mine/
blow-it-up-god-speed-mother-G-ing-the-Prime/
Chicken, Beef, Carbon, Tuna/An assortment of sorts/
Messing with the world’s mind in my Boxer shorts/
So I scream bloody Mary/ get a Cesar or two/
Get drunk at a party cause there’s nothing to do/
I’m a downer or at least that’s what I was told/
But it’s hard to have fun when you act too old/
I’m an offset mind in a bog/ I listen to Three-Dog/
I always fear for life when I go for a jog/
Going home to a place where I know I’ve been/
Better save it up son cause you’re starting again/
This is how I want to finish my life/ with a wife/
No kids and a Ginsu Knife/

For the Cheeeeese Wheeeels.

That, you read before you, is “You’re alright (if you want to be)” the only rap song I’ve ever been happy with. It’s 30 seconds long and it feels more dorky than most Nerd-core out there. At least it’s the best I’ve ever actually been able to write. It doesn’t really seem that nonsensical anymore, but remember when we were all kids in the late 80s early 90s and it was laughably embarrassing for white kids to rap? Do you still think that way? if you do.. why? Rap is a pretty amazing poetry.

If anything it’s very fascinating, the idea of belting out a free-style of words to a rhythm. It never had to be about anything it just had to flow. I really liked it as a kid, Skee-lo, Warren G, Beastie-Boys, Coolio.. There was a quite appreciation for that kind of music in my little country, white-bred, mining town. (Cause I’m cool like dat) But to ensure that this doesn’t become a chapter where I just talk about how rap music was better back in the day: There’s a lot about this that makes me wish I was into it more than I am.

Both of my Sisters took piano lessons. I didn’t. Instead I wanted to take it upon myself to play by ear. My Parents recognized my knack for the talent, but never really pushed me. They should have. They’re not very good at encouraging what I want to actually do with my life. Had I not been and Actor or an Animator, I bet I’d have been a musician. Busking on the Street with my acoustic Guitar picking on people via song as they walk on by. I could have been a lyricist in some bizarre dream world, Just as good as that Little Lady Gaga boy too. Well Scratch that, I’m pretty sure my lyrical Prowess was in the form of Weird Al.

I could very well encourage you, upstarting-go-getters of music. Parody is probably a really good starting off point for writing a song. In a sense, it’s easy. You have your template laid out for you. As long as you can keep the Rhythm while you change the words then your okay. So… I guess that’s where the hard part comes in. As far as I know, people don’t really understand how to keep the structure of the song intact. They just think any olde words thrown in there to the music is a good enough parody. There’s a difference between “Lunch meat/It goes inside a sandwich/complete with cheese and cabbage/It’s whole-some and it’s good.” as opposed to “Lunch meat/ I’ll put it in my sandwich/with lots of other condiments/ would you like to have a bite.”* You see where I’m going with this?

Parody was a great way for me to be creative growing up. A Self Proclaimed Parodist in many forms, but in the form of Song was where my parody seemed most common.

Aside from writing incredibly doofy stuff, playing with music itself was something I loved to do. You know, kids today have it easy now. Perhaps a little too easy. We are now in the age of Music Generators and Auto-tuning. It’s kind of a sad time for creativity. It’s possibly my biggest complaint of the future. I’m a bit hypocritical, but that’s beside the point. Things like MTV Music Generator, FruityLoops, Garageband, are wonderful programs for what they can offer. People with no necessary or rational talent (like me) can use these as slong as they have a rhythm. If not people able to conduct from scratch, can select a wide variety of samples and mix to their hearts content. Being someone who know the ins and outs of Garageband it’s really bizarre how often I can point out where those music samples come from, and it breaks me a little when I can see just how much we all seem to dip from the same pool.

So yeah, with that respect I’m hypocritical. But I always at least try to hide how hypocritical I am. If you look for “Tangoshimaru” and “Underwatermaketrix” as a would-be “artist” I try to use these tools-of-this-trade wisely and hide the large ear-sore of a fact that I’m an Apple user.

So Now I’m completely off track and I need to remember why I wanted to write this chapter in the first place….

So it started with boredom. Acting school isn’t particularly exciting at times. It’s a school about staying in your craft, everyone’s participation. As exciting as it is to watch someone be a character that you didn’t think they could pull off, it doesn’t happen all the time. And when you see the same stuff happening in front of you for an entire year, you long to do something else with your time. It’s just as easy for me to say that I don’t like watching TV that much, if not at all. So Enthusiasm to hope someone can act more interesting dies.

It’s times like this that I appreciate the fact that I always have a book to doodle in during classes. I actually had a book full of emotionally messed up writings all over because I wanted to cope with the stress-y bullshit that was going on at the time. Armed with my pencil and book in hand I scribbled my boredom into words.

The Nights are long today/ Let’s go
Outside with the life of the party
The Nights are long today/ I know

You know when you think you have a good idea for something and you start writing it. Then a bunch of sentances in you kind of feel how dumb it’s starting to get or you haven’t exactly figured out it’s flow but you don’t want to erase what you already wrote? That’s pretty much my music career in a nutshell.

Best Buddy at VFS and overall wonderful guy Emmanuel was sitting beside me. He grabbed the book and pencil from my hands and scribbled away.

Discoball explodes in your face
and before you notice/ you are doused with Funk
do the robot now

Well seeings how it was going nowhere to begin with, I liked this guys Moxie. It turned into a back and forth free-form.. Let’s see how long we can ride this out.

Flash Flash/ Moves your body
14 hours to save the earth/ and you love him
Yes, you love him.
3,2,1 pokies are go/ and the world is standing still
because you’re moving too fast/ way to fast
So stop and take a breath
before you collapse from an overparty/ Yeah
Remember backup dancers get their turn too
so step off and let them groove/ to the left, to the left
step off and give them room for a dance break

This is obviously the part of the song where you just listen to how wonderful the music is. Even though we didn’t particularly have any music in mind, you can just make a little ‘oonce oonce oonce’ noise with your mouth for about a minute or so.

Back onto the floor/ shake your body
get hot and sweaty/ be naughty
The flashing lights/ they flash for you
Flash your neighbor/ your sister/ your brother
Feel the beat/ Feel the beat of the drum
As it makes you lose your inhibitions
and then YOU DIE.

But you come back to life like the phoenix
you’re flaming hot now/ don’t be scared
Just keep on dancing/ Flash flash flame
Sacrifice yourself to the gods of the night
because the sun is an asshole
You don’t need no water/ Burn Motherfucker
But watch yourself/ show me whatchu got
And the world is going too fast
you’re starting to dance too hard
Your limbs fly about/ like a blue seizure robot
Love beams of light from your face
charge them/ charge them good
PEW PEW
PEW PEW PEW
PEW PEW
come on Barbie/ Let’s revolt!

You may not care to understand it, but there was a look on our faces of how this was pure genius.  I felt like I wanted to share this specifically, because I wanted to show it. I wanted something done with it! It would be cool for me to present this, and see if anyone out there would pick this up and make something of it. Interpret these lyrics in your own way, find your own groove.  At the very least I can rest a little easier.

*This is all of course done to the song Don’t Speak by No Doubt

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3 thoughts on “Audio-pile #bookillneverwrite

  1. Wonderful, monsieur ! i like the rappy freestyle. i went through a ‘rapping in poetry’ phase too but yours is much better. you should belt it out

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