Baw Baw Bidaw

About the Previous post regarding my financial state of anguish and to the ones that actually stuck their hand out in support, no matter how small it was. Thank you. To be Frank that was a little scary for me. The zero monies yes but the positive support threw me off and got me worried or whatever, I basically had a shower to cool down. Here’s a fun fact and it’s probably a psychological thing: I can’t handle positivity. Compliments, good gestures, anything positive makes me breakdown and worry or cry.

It’s kind of Strange yes, but essentially I’ve never lived a positive life. Although this is a story for a psychiatrist. The job searching continues but it’s getting harder; When the bank said that I have 10 days to comply I didn’t imagine that they would freeze my savings indefinitely. So I’ve been hungry pretty much the whole week, with nothing but spaghetti to eat for dinner (there’s no way I’m going to eat it for breakfast and lunch.) It does take a toll on me physically because I can only go so far out there, before breaking down from loss of energy, or jumping on the Skytrain with fear of getting caught without paying is always just as fun. I had an audition on Wednesday that I just couldn’t do because I was so hungry and tired. Acting life is pretty awesome|.

I have another audition with something on Sunday that requires no dialogue and I know the people, so maybe something good will come out of it. There’s also the question of the projects I’m on board with, and what the hell is going on with those? Where’s my security in this industry? How come I’ve never actually told anything? How come I don’t have a job yet?

What the hell is going on here?


One thought on “Baw Baw Bidaw

  1. well, we’re happy we could help you in whatever way you could. you just got to get over your fear of goodness. you’ll need to.

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