Efing Media Roundup: Simpson’s Porn

HEY KIDS! Today is very low key for me, for some reason I was incredibly sick yesterday. Some kind of stomach bug or something hit me pretty hard and I felt like I was being rendered useless. Yet here we are, Thursday. Another News roundup. Such a Special time.

Seattle Superhero gets nose broken by real criminals. I watched Blankman recently. That is the closest we’ll ever get to a real life superhero and it was still a movie. With that in mind, The idea behind being a real life superhero will never be Kick-ass More like, Ass-kicked (OH! DISS! MAJORLY!… *cough*)

Ted Williams is heading to rehab. You know, that Homeless guy with a serious case of MAJESTIC VOICE OVER. Went from unfortunate media frenzy to, his unfortunate life catching up to him. Which, thanks to the media constantly having him on watch like he’s some sort of Octomom, here’s  the 10 days in which he’s been noticed, to the point where he’s ended up on Dr. Phil.

In another episode of ‘Being part of the Problem’ is Kotaku. Since over the Weekend, the Tuscon Shooter had to come in an stir some shit up. Kotaku found out he played an online text based game, Earth Empires. So using their journalistic expertise decided that they have every reason to talk about it, like it’s a thing to worry about. Quote from a user:

“Jared Lee Loughner is to blame for the shootings in Arizona, No one else.”

And people really ought to leave it at that. (Kotaku also recently banned me from posting on their site, THE NERVE!)

A man sees a photo of AC Slater in a bar, and then proceeds to kick this photos ass. When asked why he would do such a thing, the man replied “Oh, I just don’t like AC Slater.” Sure Slater always gave Zack a hard time, but that’s only because Zack was a little bitch. Why would anyone want to be mad at this guy? (adorable)

Yuna is headed to  Dissidia Duodecim 012: Final Fantasy Which isn’t really great news of any kind, but as I feel she’s been the weakest Final Fantasy character, Yet the most Hilarious subject for comic strips. So what does this mean for you? Nothing. Me? Comic strips. Plus, why is the name of this title so friggin absurd?

BTW, This is your new Spiderman. Okay I guess, but now it’s just making me think about how cool it would be to have a Spiderman 2099 movie.

Tom Hanks has another son, and this one wants to grow up to be a rapper. Who knew? I didn’t. Sure, the whole ‘Wants to be a rapper’ part is believable in this day and age. But Tom Hanks’s son? He already has one. his name is Colin. That’s all we need. Go be Willow Smith somewhere else?

And before we finish up today, let me just burn this image into your brain so you can have many a nightmare in your future. (Don’t worry, it’s pretty much safe for work. still, scary as fuck.)

So there is your news for today. I couldn’t find anything else interesting. BUT if you did find anything within the recent week and want to share. Drop it in the comments below. Because talking about news is awesome. Till then, let’s gather around for another EFing Roundup Next week, But carry on with our lives for now.

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