It took a while you know. I was having a bit of a panic attack early on. I jumped off the sky train to where I would usually get off when going to school. I had to take my time really. I think I was too freaked out at the idea of who I would see. So I walked around for what must have felt like 40 minutes, telling myself that it’s probably going to be okay. It’s a strange feeling to be more nervous about seeing people you already know then going to an audition with no fucking clue.
The the moment I saw Jus, I actually felt better. We hugged and went arm in arm enjoying our company as we walked closer to the doors where all the beautiful people were standing. Then the night began.
I was more happier to see the teachers. These were the ones that taught me (currently) everything I know about the acting world. Still being Boyish and Shy at the sight of Suzanne, and like an old friend in the arms of Mattie. A cast of so many that I gave myself so little time for.
Barely anyone was from the class I was in. But we shared banter anyway. You do that thing you know, you make your rounds and talk about all the projects your working on, without trying to make it sound like you have the bigger dick. Being overwhelmed with so many people around has just got me excited enough to keep talking about the same stuff all night, always wanting to go to the next person, never going to stop.
It was strange.
Near the end of the night, Kendell gave me a ride home and we shared a dialogue about (your friend and mine) Kerry. It’s a difficult thing to explain, I can only put anything into words, with her. Everybody has their own reasons for any of the stuff they do. What I do, is the only thing I’m capable of doing. Because I’m flawed and I’m okay with it. With that being said, things are okay, and I talk to her all I want. She never talks back, but hey… This is my place. I enjoy it, because I miss her, and frankly with a lot of the things I’ve experienced over the last year or so. Talking to her by myself regardless of a reply. (It’s a miracle that I’m still trucking in the first place :P) It’s just what I need to do.
I’m cool like that.