an encore I don’t need…

Show was good…

But today I remembered why I started drinking in the first place. A really uncomfortable feeling to have is when your body tells you that something is wrong. You don’t know yourself, until you see it, and then you let your body take over. You don’t know whether you should cry, or go and stab yourself a couple of times but you generally feel like “The world must be against me right, because I’m pretty sure this shouldn’t be happening to me”.

Fuck man, Nobody is allowed to genuinely love someone anymore. What kind of bullshit is that?

Hilariously I saw the head of the department today for lunch, and he started talking about my depression. I was taking it lightly the whole time, then he asked “So what is this about?” I told him I figured we were going to have lunch and chat it up like normal people. So Thursday.. I think is the day that I get to have a lunch with the guy, but sadly I now think I have something to talk to him about.

She just, does these things all the time that makes me think about it, and everybody knows I’m not allowed to be in my head.

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2 thoughts on “an encore I don’t need…

  1. hey you. i just found your blog. i see you already found mine. i want to put a link to yours on mine as well, but i haven’t figured that out yet.. perhaps cause it’s a blogspot one.. hmm. being in your head is bad, i will agree with that. any positive developments regarding this subject matter or is it the same?

  2. It’s not positive.

    I hate it that I know now, that this isn’t some idiotic thing that I’m going through, my feelings are very real.

    that’s what I hate.

    I should also change this so I don’t have to moderate comments.

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