3

There always seems to be something pushing me towards you wether I like it or not. But what the hell am I supposed to do about it.

I mean, you’re great. you’re wonderful. amazingly talented. When you left, you took the largest chunk of me with you, and I don’t know how to get it back. Because it’s attached to you… and it always will be.

People make mistakes so they can learn lessons. I’ve made plenty and wondered if I’ve ever learned from any of them. The only thing I’ve learned is with you is where I want to be. Sometimes I’d like to think there are other answers/people. But the more I grow and the more things I do, I find myself just wanting to share with you anyway.

I should never have to feel afraid to tell you how great you are. And I should never have to be afraid to be honest with you,and that is the only thing I’m ever guilty of.

Joe is guilty of so much more than you’re probably not aware of. Then again, maybe half of the shit he does is your idea.

All I know is that I believe in you 100%. Stop bottling everything up and say the things that you really need to say.

like these

It’s funny how much of a distraction you ended up being for these plus years of time, and I wonder if you actually understood that. I mean, I’ve told you plenty of times to stop, but you never did. Over time, it became such a worrisome burden for me, and I honestly wonder if you figured that out.

But I suppose with the amount of fucking around Joe did, I wouldn’t be surprised if you have/had no idea. he’s never someone to trust based on what I know.

But within this ‘freedom’ per se, I’ve been able to write a book. (or currently am writing) The first draft is near completion and I’ve had such a great momentum with it, that I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d finish it within the coming months.

I’d like you to read it and tell me what you think. Your input is always wonderful.

I get a lot more done, when you’re not judging everything that doesn’t happen.

I still miss you of course, and I’m keeping my promise. because you deserve it.

sleepless

I managed to get in one hour of sleep today, which is amazing when it’s followed by 6 hours of a broadcasting class.

wheelWhen it was done, I went home to eat, and went to the Surrey Central Station afterwards for fun. There was a tree lighting ceremony. Loads of people all over the place and a stageforall the fun. I took a picture of the ferris wheel for some reason, because why not? haha..

I didn’t really get to stay too long, but I was entrance for some reason that a fellow that looked an awful lot like Michael Bublé, save for his baby-ish face, singing a variety of Bublé’s songs.

it was pretty entertaining.

Soon afterward, it was time to go back to work.

I hope I actually get some sleep tonight though, the week ahead will be a busy one.

congrats

I caught wind of this on the way home reading up on it on the CBC website from my feed. Congratulations on Journey with no maps winning a GGLA.

Seriously, that is amazing.

Let’s just put my nonsensical frustration to the side, because come on. I know, near the end of the book you were getting frustrated and your enthusiasm to do it was dwindling. But Bron, that’s an amazing acknowledgement. 

You helped make that book happen. That’s something worth being excited about. I don’t know if my encouragement meant very little to you during that time, but I’m just as excited for you now, as I was back then. When we first met, and you were telling me about this stuff I was hooked, I love you for it. It’s one of the many things yes, but it’s such a cool thing.

I’m smiling because that’s great! I don’t know, I can’t help but be excited for you. I remember going to the panel at writer’s fest last year because I wanted to hear about all the work that you helped put together. It was cool, fun, insightful.

The whole thing is cool. I don’t care if you hate what I say or not, but hun, You’re amazing. I can only hope that this inspires you. and if it does, there’s no way you can ever tell me that we don’t want the same things out of life.

Go and write something, have a glass of wine to celebrate. Be ridiculously happy. 

Just be grumpy about whatever else there is later.

I love what you do, and what you’ve done, and I don’t see why anyone shouldn’t. I’m in awe, and you’re great.

Origin story #bookillneverwrite

When Gaiman came to town for his book tour not too long ago, it was relatively exciting. A writer that I was always fond of thanks to the Sandman series. Unforttunately, I jumped the gun on this job that I’ve been trying to get, going to it a day early, and missing the meet entirely. But the roommate went and got a signed copy of the book, so in a sense it’s just as awesome.

Hearing him on Q, and the story behind the book is pretty inspiring. I started writing The book I’ll never write because Bron is such a heavy inspiration behind it. She makes me feel great about my talents, and if I write for myself, and her then I’d be more than happy to know that’s all I need.

Even now she’ll always just be an inspiration. So I’m going to keep writing, even if the stuff that shouldn’t get to me does. This is a book I want her to read. I mean hell, I even wrote a chapter just for her.

But, as I get a lot of the big important chapters out of the way. I’ll soon gear up on the next draft of everything. elaborate on the things I know are missing.

It’s a fun process…

Continue reading